The Quiz
by SuperPsychoNutcase
Summary: Levy bought a special lacrima. It is nothing but a silly quiz to pass the time. But this test is rather accurate. I wonder how everyone will react. UP FOR ADOPTION


Author's note: This one-shot is a Thanksgiving gift for all my devoted readers. Thank you all for sticking by me and for your words of encouragement. :3

Disclaimer: This shit ain't mine.

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The Quiz Lacrima

It's been two weeks since our win at the GMG and the Guild is still partying. I ducked my head as I felt the oncoming heat of Natsu's body. He flew across the bar and landed on Elfman. The Beast Mage threw him off and screamed about his manliness, then jumped into the brawl. I sighed at my family's rambunctious nature. It was too early for this. It's only ten am.

The Guild doors were kicked open and Team Shadow Gear entered. Levy rushed towards the bar as soon as she spotted me. The bluenette climbed onto the stool beside me and began digging into her bag. "Good morning, Lucy! How are you?"

"Sick of the noise. I know everyone is excited to be back together in our own Guild Hall and ranked number one again, but do they really need to drag it out for so long? Don't they see the overflowing mission board?"

Levy giggled. "Well, I've got something that ought to take your mind off your rowdy Team for a bit." With that, she set a flat lacrima on the bar in front of me. It wasn't that big, maybe the span of both my hands with a smaller width. I could feel the magic radiating from the crystal.

"Uh, Levy… What's this?"

"It's a lacrima, silly!"

I eyed it warily. "What does it do?"

A hand shot out and took the crystal. I turned to see Cana examining the item. "Oh, Levy, you cheeky dick waffle. I can't believe you got one of these!"

I leaned closer to my best friend as Cana used her magic to activate the lacrima. "You didn't bring porn in here, did you? You know that you will never live it down if you get caught. Mira in particular will tease you forever."

Levy chuckled at my whispered warning. "It's not porn, Luce. It's a quiz!"

I blinked owlishly at her beaming face. "Quiz…?"

Mira, the little snoop that she is, overheard us and appeared behind the bar. "It's a silly little lacrima that asks you personal questions and gives you a hypothetical answer. I had one wear the question was what my soul animal was. My answer was a bear. Elfman's was a dove. I believe Lisanna's was a turtle."

Levy sipped some of my milkshake. "It's just something to pass the time. And they're really fun!"

"Boo yeah!" Everyone jumped at Cana's cheer.

Mira smiled at the brunette. "What does it say, Cana?"

The Card Mage smirked and held up the glowing crystal. "'Who is your Mage Soul Mate? Your answer: Bacchus Groh. You are a fun loving girl with a wild side. Who better to match your fire than Bacchus of Quatro Cerberus. This wild man is known for his love of alcohol and his unrestrained passion for life. He isn't one to hold back and approaches everything in a carefree manner. After a long day, Bacchus likes to kick back and is rumored to be a bit of a cuddler.'"

Gildarts popped up behind his daughter. "I've met this man and I don't approve of him. I won't allow that ruffian to get his dirty paws on you!"

Cana pushed her dad away, laughing at her dad's antics. Probably her mid-morning buzz. "Calm down, pops! It's just a stupid quiz! Why don't you try it?"

"Well, of my baby girl insists!" He took the latina from her outstretched hand and began tapping the screen. The brawl had stopped and a few curious onlookers gathered around the bar. Natsu planted himself on the side recently vacated by Levy.

"Hey Luce! What's all the fuss about?"

I shrugged, "Just some quiz lacrima Levy brought in."

Gildarts booming laughter filled the cavernous Hall, causing everyone to perk up and lean towards him. Cana elbowed her father's side. "C'mon, dad. Who's your Mage Soul Mate? It better not be Lucy!"

Gildarts chuckled and cleared his throat. "'Unlike her blonde counterpart, Lucy Heartfilia, Yukino Aguria is more docile. And least likely to attack you with a whip. Do not make her angry, though. Yukino has quite the temper when her loved ones are involved. Yukino is a bit shy and reserved, but she is fiercely loyal to those who've earned it. She will gladly stand aside and let you shine in the spotlight.' Sorry quiz, but she ain't my type. I'm no cradle robber. I'm old enough to be her dad."

"I take offense to that summary. I don't go around cracking my whip at people."

Natsu laughed and slung an arm over my shoulder. "You kinda do, Luce!"

I huffed in anger and sent a roundhouse kick into my partner's face. "I DO NOT!"

Gray crossed his arms over his bare chest. "She's right, Flame Breath. She doesn't go around flinging her whip at strangers."

"Thank you, Gray!"

The Ice Mage grinned mischievously. "Her legs, however…"

Gray was sent flying with Lucy's signature move. "SHUT UP, FROST FREAK!"

"Frost Freak! Good one, Luce!"

"YOU TOO, MATCH DICK!"

"Ha! It's funny 'cause it's true!"

Natsu slammed his forehead against Gray's. "What did you say, Frost Freak?"

Gray glared at his frenemy. "I said it's funny 'cause it's true, Match Dick!"

"You wanna go?"

"Bring it on!"

I turned back to the bar, aware of the impending doom coming their way. The doom was dressed in Heart Kreuz armor.

I went back to my milkshake as Mira finished the quiz. "Oh my…"

Lisanna propped her body on the counter. "Who'dya get, Mira?"

Mira smiled and held up the lacrima. "'A lady like you needs a gentleman. Rufus Lore certainly fits the bill. Raised as a noble, Rufus was taught etiquette. The Memory Mage is a hopeless romantic, seen often with a romance novel in hand. He is quite the dancer and has a fondness for books. The best part about him is that he will never forget a significant date and can be quite spontaneous when the occasion calls for it.' Well, I do love a gentleman."

The girls 'aww'ed at Mira's cute blush. _'Gentleman, indeed.'_ I looked up to the second floor and bit back a grin. It appears a certain Rune Mage was listening in on our conversation. From the looks on the rest of Team Thunder God's faces, I'd say they're all focused on the current event happening on the ground floor. Mira peeked over the crystal. Her eyes flashed once and she glided over to an oblivious Dragon Slayer. Gajeel was leaning against the bar, chomping away at scrap metal. He portrayed indifference to the whole affair, but I could see the curious gleam in his ruby eyes.

"Hello, Gajeel. Why don't you try? I'd love to see who you get."

The Iron Mage grunted. "Not a chance, psycho. I ain't letting you set me up with whatever chick pops up on that…"

" **You will do this quiz and you will like it, Gajeel.** " Mira's voice changed and her skin cracked. Everyone shuddered and backed away from the bar. Gajeel, the poor man, didn't have the option of escape. All he could do was put down the half-eaten iron and take the crystal form her hand.

"Isn't this just for chicks, anyway?"

Mira reverted back into her barmaid persona. "There is a questionnaire for men."

Gajeel grunted and began tapping the screen. People began crowding the bar once more as soon as the danger passed. All were interested in Gajeel's answer. A minute passed and Gajeel began laughing. He slammed his fist on the bar, laughing like a lunatic. Makarov had come out of his office, eager to get away from paperwork, to see the cause of the commotion. Levy poked his side. "Who did you get?!"

Gajeel landed on me, flickering with an emotion I did not want to name. "'So you want a fighter, huh? Look no further than Lucy Heartfilia. Though this girl was an heiress, she is in no way delicate. Lucy is known for her incredible endurance. She can take a hit, get back up, and give it right back with those mile-long legs of hers. Lucy is playful, sweet, and as loyal as they come. Be careful not to break her heart, though. The second you do, all of Fairy Tail will have your ass. After she's done with it, of course.'"

The Guild roared with laughter at the deep blush on my face. All throughout this time, not once did Gajeel look away. I could still feel the burn of his gaze against my skin.

"Me next!" Natsu ripped the lacrima from Gajeel's hand. Gajeel growled and swiped at the younger slayer, but the Fire Mage moved too fast.

"Natsu! Get down from there!"

Natsu settled himself on one of the rafter beams. Everyone watched as he played with the crystal, his face changing as different emotions dominated his face. I've always liked that about my childish partner. He wore his heart on his sleeve and I could always tell what he was feeling just by looking at his face. So different from the two-faced nobles my father forced me to socialize with in hopes of merging companies. Natsu barked out a laugh and fell onto the bar counter. "I got Lucy, too!"

Mira's eyes glinted. "Really, now?"

"Yeah, but it's different from Gajeel's."

I flicked his ankle. "Read it then. I'm anxious to hear what it says."

Natsu grinned and plopped into the stool next to me. "'You are a fun loving guy, so you need a fun loving girl. Lucy Heartfilia, the Light of Fairy Tail, is that and more. She is always open to new experiences and doesn't judge others. Though Lucy can let loose like the rest of her Team, she is level-headed enough to keep them out of trouble. She is a strategic genius with a cunning mind. A perfect fit for your care-free nature.'"

Mira gently took the lacrima from Natsu and read over the summary. "Aww… That's really sweet. And since when is Lucy a strategic genius?"

I snorted. "I come up with flawless plans for Team Natsu that get the job done efficiently and little-to-no damage to the surrounding area. My Team ignores them and goes in swinging. They only listen when things look bleak, and even then they ignore it and attack with brute force."

Happy landed on Natsu's head. "I wonder why Natsu's was different from Gajeel's."

"I think there are two parts to the quiz: questions about you and questions about what kind of person you're attracted to." Levy's voice echoed in the great Hall. I ignored the whispers and returned to my drink. I was disappointed when I found it empty.

My view of the counter was obstructed by a white screen with a small start button in the center. I looked up to find Mira beaming at me. "You try, Lucy!"

I growled and accepted the lacrima, knowing Mira would bug me until I gave in. I tapped the small button and a question filled the screen along with two answers.

Male or Female?

And so it went: me answering honestly to every question that appeared.

What's your style? Sexy or Productive.

' _Sexy. Duh.'_

How do you like your men?

' _Assertive.'_

Do you like dominant men?

' _Fuck the Hell, yes!'_

How do you like your men? Lean or muscular?

' _Muscles… Definitely muscles.'_

On and on it went until finally an image and small paragraph filled the screen. I skimmed the summary of the man and froze upon a certain word. I read through the paragraph, my face growing hotter with each passing second.

"Ooooooooh! Who's your Soul Mate, Lucy?"

I pressed the lacrima to my chest at Cana's drawn out slur. All eyes were on me as I did my best to keep the screen from sight.

Mira was in front of me in a split second. "Let me see it, Lucy."

I thought over the situation. I had three options: First option; I could run away with the lacrima, but Mira would surely catch me before I could throw it in the canal outside. Second option; I could hand over the lacrima and act as if it didn't bother me, but my blush might give me away. Third option; I could restart the test, thereby erasing my results, but Mira would notice and snatch it away before I could finish. The first and last options suggest a hint of truth in the result and, therefore, cause my Guildmates to tease me about either liking the man or being into BDSM. The second option was my best choice. I have my heiress training to hide my emotions on this subject. At least I hope so.

I reluctantly held out the crystal and slipped on my heiress mask. It felt strange portraying an emotionless noble, but it's better than being teased for the rest of my fucking life.

Mira cleared her throat and read off the screen. "'You, my dear, are drawn to Alpha males. You want a man that knows what he wants and isn't afraid to take it. Laxus Dreyar isn't one to play around. He protects what's his with the ferocity of a Dragon, and he's just as greedy. Though he's bound to be a bit rough in his handling, you'll revel every second of it. Have at him, you kinky slut.'"

I bent over the counter, shaking with soundless, hysterical laughter. The Hall was silent as they watched me. Natsu patted my back. "Luce? Are you okay?"

I rolled over and took a deep breath. "That last part…. I can't breathe!..."

The Guild laughed with me. They thought it was just a silly result of a silly quiz. I knew better. The rumors, before and after our disappearance, weren't far from the truth. But not in the way they're thinking. They thought I would never want to be bound in any way due to my childhood. Everyone thought, if anything, _I'd_ be the one handcuffing my lover to the bed. It's actually the opposite.

The quiz was right. Eerily so.

I wanted to be dominated.

I want a man to strap me down to his bed and assert himself as _my_ Alpha.

It might be strange considering how I ran away from my controlling father, but I'm not looking for complete lack of control. I want a man that will take care of me and be my rock. A man that will let me live my life. And tie me down and punish me to remind me that I'm his. That would be fucking awesome.

Cana caught her breath and propped herself up. "Oh Mavis… I'm dying! 'Have at him, you kinky slut'! Oh shit!..."

I leaned against her and let the atmosphere soak into my skin, laughing along with my family. Cana pushed me off of her so she could look me in the eyes.

"How did you even get that result? I want that result! How did you get it? You're as innocent as a newborn!"

I shrugged and fought for control once more. "Oh… Oh man…. I don't know. I was just pushing buttons. You guys told me to take the test. You never told me to take it seriously. Oh shit…. You're never going to let it go, are you?"

"Hell the fuck no!" Cana chortled, "Those will be my parting words to you from now on and forever more. 'Have at him, you kinky slut'!"

We burst into more giggles.

Eventually, we all calmed down. Mira wiped her wet eyes. "Oh Lucy… That was perfect. I needed that. But really, can you take it again. Seriously this time?"

I overlapped my arms in the shape of an 'x'. "No thank you. I'm done for today. Why don't you hand it to Erza? Or better yet, Gray."

Mira shrugged and handed the crystal to the Ice Mage. I watched the lacrima get passed around from person to person, laughing with them at the particularly ridiculous results. I never noticed the set of storm blue eyes that followed my every move.

* * *

I opened the door and waved a final goodnight to my family. Cana responded with her new favorite phrase.

"Have at him, you kinky slut!"

I stuck my tongue out at her and she grinned.

"You better watch out, Luce. Laxus might bite that tongue of yours."

"Ha! Yeah right! He knows Erza, Mira, and Gramps would kill him if he hurt me."

She turned back to her barrel. "True. Night, Luce!"

"Night!" I walked out into the crisp night air and shut the doors behind me. I began the short trek to my apartment, balancing on the edge of the canal that ran through the town. My mind was so jumbled, I decided to let Plue stay home. No need to make him needlessly upset. My problems are my own. I hopped down from the ledge as soon as I saw the familiar pink paint of my apartment building. I was almost at the door, reaching into my pouch for my key. If I was paying close attention, I would have felt the approach of a very large man.

A hand clamped over my mouth and a thick arm wrapped around my waist. I immediately began to fight my attacker. I felt the stirrings of panic as he carried me into the alleyway between my home and the bakery shop next door. His hand prevented me from screaming, but I knew that he wouldn't keep it there for long. I decided that it was still there as he started pulling on my skirt, I'd bite him as hard as I could and scream my lungs out. Maybe one of my neighbors would hear and call for help. My struggling increased as I felt hard metal bind my hands behind my back.

"Stop."

I froze. Not because he commanded me to, but because the way he said it. His hot breath caressed my ear. The voice was low and rough. And rather familiar. I knew this man. As the panic receded, I noticed the small details that screamed the identity of the man holding me captive. The hand over my mouth were large and warm. If the scent of trees and ozone didn't give him away, the furred hem of his purple jacket certainly did. His hand slowly slid down my chin to rest at the hollow of my throat when he felt my muscles relax. I opened my mouth to question his sanity.

"Don't speak."

My jaw snapped shut. I had a feeling this was either going to go terribly wrong… or this was going to be the best night of my life.

"You're a pretty good liar, but you can't fool a Dragon Slayer."

I cocked my head in a silent question. _'What are you talking about?'_

"You took the damn quiz seriously. I could tell."

Ah. So I took the quiz seriously. _'So what?'_

"For a stupid waste of time, that test is pretty accurate."

You're wasting my time, Laxus. _'And?'_

His mouth graced my neck. My body jerked at the sudden appearance of Lightning dancing around Laxus and I. The only warning was the slight twitch of the hand on my navel before my core was assaulted with his Magic. I tensed at the new sensations pumping through my veins. My center grew tighter and tighter with each wave of Lightning he sent into me. All of a sudden, the little ball of fire in me snapped. My toes curled in my boots as I was overcome with euphoria. I swear I saw stars behind my eyelids. I fell into Laxus' embrace as I slowly overcame the ecstasy of… whatever he just did to me. He swept me up into his arms with ease. I savored his warmth, not too hot like Natsu, taking in all I could before he delivered me to my room.

I was brought out of my haze by a deep chuckle. I chanced a peek at the Dragon Slayer. The orange color of his eyes through me off. "Oh, Blondie. I'm not anywhere near being done with you."

Lightning crackled in the air around us as he summoned his Lightning Body.

He is very eager to get home.

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Ooo! Open ended! I hope you guys liked it. Anyway, the poll for my sneak peek is up and there needs to be a tie breaker between Gift of the Dragon God and The Perfect Bride.

Happy Holidays to all my readers! Love you to bits!

-SPN :3


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